


To Not Be Alone.

by Mr_Sandman



Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Character Death, Explicit because I don't truly know where we're gonna end up with this., F/F, F/M, Genderbender sorta? I mean their genderless, Isekai, Original Character(s), Pre-Gem War, Rebellion, Self-Insert, beacause it's the pre Steven diamonds
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-28
Updated: 2020-02-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:47:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22936600
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mr_Sandman/pseuds/Mr_Sandman
Summary: he had died some time ago or.... at least he thinks it's been a while. He remebers thinking "is the afterlife really this boring?" and after all he's been through sometimes he kind of wishes it was but at the end of the day.. he's happy he somehow ended up here. For whatever it's worth he's going to make this life one worth living.
Relationships: to be dicided
Kudos: 17





	To Not Be Alone.

**Author's Note:**

> my first story my doods. let me know how it is. I tried my best but we all gotta start somewhere ya know? if you got any tips to help me improve let me know. also if there's any Grammer errors that's on me if they bother you that much point Em out and il try and fix Them for ya :D
> 
> Edit: I learned how to _slant_ the text. so I added some where emphasis was needed. I think it makes reading a little more interesting :)

If he was being honest with himself... this is not what he had hoped the after life would be like. not to say he was expecting the pearly gates or anything, he had long ago decided that he truthfully didn't know if god or gods in any form existed. However he did believe in the spirit, and that _'something'_ had to happen to the soul after the body was no longer capable of housing it. He personally felt the most likely afterlife would simply feel as if he was asleep, you can't really tell how much time passes when your asleep and it's always restful and relaxing even if your not exactly conscious of what's happening. So to be so thoroughly proven wrong was... well a bit of a let down. Death was apparently not quite as sleep-like as he'd hoped if what he was enduring right now had anything to say about it.

Cramped. If you asked him his thoughts near the beginning that would pretty much sum it up, well that and warmth. he had to admit the warm aspect he didn't mind, it was a nice mild feeling warm like he had just wrapped his favorite blanket around himself like a cozy cacoon but... The cramped sensation he could do without. Not to say he was ever especially wary of small spaces, he didn't like them of course but he wasn't going to have a panic attack if the need to be in one arose. he had to admit though... if he was fully awake instead of whatever this strange new state of thought was he probably would have gone crazy some time ago. _Time_... now that he thought of it how long had he been like this? He was Reasonably sure it had been a while.. or at least he thinks it has? It was hard to tell for sure when he was in this dreamish state. Except it wasn't restful or even really relaxing like sleep should be, it was more like he was conscious but he also sort of wasn't?

Contradiction.. Heh.. at the vary least he could say the afterlife was confusing, awake but not awake, asleep but not asleep.. _to be or not to be?_ did he use that phrase right? oh well even if he didn't at least no one but himself and the dickish (if they do in fact exist) god that decided to do this to me will ever know. That was another thing, if whatever this..existence that He was currently (sort of?) living befell him was just a happenstance of chance (perhaps his soul slipped though the cracks of reality or something) then he could understand, bad luck and all that but if this was the work of a deity that he had somehow offended then why did they choose _this?_ sure it was strange but... well he was only sort of feeling it? you kind have to be fully awake for isolation and sensory deprivation to take its toll. Maybe the god was just out of touch with what it meant to be human and this powerlessness was the worst thing it could think up? but again even then he was still sort of asleep and not really registering it sooooo.... back to square one.

He couldn't even begin to fathom what he could have done that was deserving of "punishment" to begin with. At _worst_ he could say he was a little bit lazy but other than that he truly tried to be kind and honest (sometimes to the point of mildly hurtful bluntness if someone was being particularly dense) to everyone In his life. Divine retribution was looking less and less likely the more he thought about it... so a twist of fate then? for all he knows he was waiting in the line to get into the after-life and just as he was about to enter the worlds most kick-ass after (life) party god accidentally sneezed him out of existence.. heh sure let's go with that. Amusing train of thought aside he had to admit when something started happening again he was pretty happy about the change of pace no matter how gradual it was. Like he said at first it was cramped then he slowly started to... Uhh.. _expand?_ Yes that felt right, expand slowly pushing away at the crampedness as he did so. Not to say it got any less cramped but he did seem to be growing larger than whatever... shape he was before. 

He was almost sure more time had past as he slowly grew, and as that happened he began little by little to feel what he remembered being truly awake felt like. So thats.. Good? at least he was still warm... wait..Suddenly a thought struck him! Was this?.... Was he In a Womb!!?! Wasn't reincarnation a thing?!? was the growing him becoming a _fetus_ or something?! God he hoped not, as much as he liked living he didn't want to know what it feels like to be pushed out of a lady's.. _you know!!!_ ugh just thinking about it.. but then again.. didn't babies sorta float in the womb? Sure water pressure was a _thing_ but.. could a baby withstand the pressure he constantly experienced since death? It wasn't uncomfortable... the _squeezing_ he meant but he somehow doubted a baby, unborn at that could survive it. Could a babies brain even process the complex thoughts a adult mind? Other than still being kind of asleep he didn't feel like he regressed mentally at all, in fact he would say he was _better than ever_ in the memory aspect of thinking. He could remember being alive of course, he didn't see any glaring holes in his memory other than early childhood that everyone (With a few exceptions) were missing but his memories after dying... Well they are _much_ more precise, he remembers every thought and feeling (Few and muted as they were.) he's had since then with almost perfect clarity its nothing like the vague feelings and broad stoke details of events from when he was alive.

So... Not a womb then. ( _thank god_ ) Once again back to square one... Bah forget it, after that I think il just listen to some music (mentally) no more deep disturbing pondering for me today... is day even a thing wherever I am? Strangely music is another thing I remember perfectly somehow despite the shoddy business that is human memory and I don't mean just my favorite songs, no I mean every song I've literally have ever heard. _Perfect recall._ Why the hell that is I couldn't tell you, but hey I'm not complaining sure if given a choice I would have picked things about my family to remember perfectly but well it's not like I'm ever going to _forget_ them. I may not be able to tell you exactly what my sisters said to me at my 20th birthday party as that just isn't how humans remember things. I can now with my spiffy new after-life memory tell you with utter _certainty_ that I was happy they were there and despite how we didn't get along sometimes (As it is with siblings) I can tell you exactly how much I loved.. no _love_ them... didn't I just tell myself to stop the pondering? I digress I suppose, now back to my tunes... Hmmm the Beatles are always a safe bet but maybe something less mainstream? So many choices... Hey now that i think about it...was being dead always this.. _Uncomfortable?_ Geez it's so hard to move in fact I don't think I moved my arms at all just then... Wait when did I grow _arms?_ Why is it so dark?...Wait am I fully awake right now!?! B-But i cant see _Anything?!_... there's.. theres NOTHING!!! **NO!** Death can't be like _this!!_ I'd rather almost anthing to suffocateing nothingness like **this!** I... I.. I need _out_..I need to **MOVE!** I Need To **_GET OUT!!!!!_**

And Then, Suddenly there was _light._ By some a stroke of luck or perhaps instinct I pushed the correct way and the darkness gave way and crumbled, i was filled with a frankly overwhelming amount of relief... and then.. I fell. Truthfully I was too surprised my pushing actually amounted to something to do anything but flail my arms as I fell. But somehow surprisingly I landed on my feet.. _was I part cat or something?_ I look up and There was a grey stone wall that completely took up my vision in front of me.. and behind me too when I snuck a glance back, to my left and right the stone walls extended quite a ways until they gradually tapered of into a ramp of stone and dirt that I... guess lead to the surface? But why was I even in this canyon? I had after all just burst out of.. The.. Afterlife?... I slowly turn around to face to stone surface behind me however it was just flat faultless stone.. what had I been pushing out of? As I take steps back I look left then right and even down and still nothing.. then once again I was almost physically stuck by a thought... Wasn't the push followed by a _fall?_ I look up and sure enough there's a person shaped hole that I... Came out of? How was I even in the ground to begin with? But as I squint at the hole I realize it's not really _me_ shaped is it? I'm a lot more stocky then that plus my shoulder are way too broad for me to fit in that. But then where did I?? Trying to make sense of this I subconscious bring my hand up to rub my chin in thought, then I pause as I turn my gaze down slightly in thought and catch a glimpse of the arm attach to the gloved hand cupping my chin. It's grey. a vary light grey with maybe just a tinge of blue in its tone. Not to mention its kinda.. Slender? The thought of my lazy ass being a weight lifter was almost _laughable_ but my arms weren't... this? so then whose?? 

I follow the arm to a torso equally as... Uh.. _slender_ as the arm. Now let me tell you seeing a person with grey skin, and I'm not talking the goth phase you or that one kid had in highschool grey skin i mean _literal_ grey is a little jarring but.. Ok I can Deal. Grey's a good color and its cool if your into cosplay and like body paint or.. Uh, you just feel like being grey I guess but.... I... _Ok,_ the fact the grey skin is attached to a rather feminine body is a non issue... However the fact said body is attached to previously mentioned arm which is, again attached to the hand that is currently cupping _my chin..._ that's admittedly vary alarming. In a odd state of calm (That probably means he's going into shock or something.) he takes a second to inspect his body.... Ok so that's Him ..a.and he's grey now? That's a.. _Thing?_ All of a sudden he's on his (Now apparently grey) knees, he didn't even register his legs giving out in his shocked state his mind whirling with thoughts. As he sits there in shock trying to make sense of this strange new reality there's a rhythmic thumping that would almost sound like hurried foot steps if it wasn't for the fact that the thumping was making small pebbles on the ground _hop_ slightly in place each time it occurred. He, being the sensible person he is with at least a decent amount of survival instincts would normally be quite alarmed that there seems to be a small scale earth quake going on while he's in a canyon of all places...but as _"luck"_ would have it he was too shocked to even entertain a thought that didn't involve a copious amount of swearing, grey skin and sudden unexpected body modification.

Louder and louder the thumping seemed to become before suddenly it stopped with a unsettling abruptness. the ensuing moment of silence would have been deafening, had he been in the right mind to hear it. then a gasp of astonishment finally shook him out of his shocked state, he jerked his head to the side and standing there standing at the top of one of the canyon ramps with hands covering her mouth in a what looked like a genuine mix of happiness and shock .a..and... was that _relief?_ Was..... White Diamond?........... Her cloths looked a little different but.. that hair was vary unique. Wasn't Steven Universe a cartoon? maybe death is finally what I thought it would be and I'm just having a strange dream?.. No this is far too real to be a dream but then what the hell is...... he glanced about as if the stone around himself might have the answers to his many questions. Until his eyes landed on the hole that Considering his new body shape vary likely _was_ made by him... He came to two realizations that were equally if not more jarring than his sudden switch in gender. 

One = after a quick cursory inspection of himself he confirmed that on his chest... or rather _in_ his chest rested a Gem.

Two = Did.... did he just get R.O.B.ed?

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading doods!  
> *edit* fixed some spelling errors. Also switched and deleted a few things to make the story flow a little better.


End file.
